by Kevin Ciccotti
One of the keys to not only surviving, but thriving in the world is resilience. These days who couldn’t use a little more of that? But what constitutes resilience, and how can we cultivate more to help deal with all the uncertainty of 2020? Let’s take a look at three keys to cultivating more resilience.
Reframe
We are creatures of meaning, and we assign meaning to everything that happens to us. Nothing has any meaning except the meaning that you give it. Whatever meaning you give to an event becomes your experience. By reframing, you’re creating a new meaning for events and providing yourself the opportunity to find a more empowering meaning for them.
For example, the feeling of isolation created by sheltering in place and social distancing is enough to make even the most introverted beg for social interaction. What‘s the story you’re telling yourself about this?
For me, the shelter in place and social distancing created a sense of isolation that I hadn’t felt before. I felt lonely, sad, and I was telling myself I was powerless to do anything about it.
Here’s my reframe: I have the opportunity to build stronger relationships with my kids, my friends, and myself; get really clear on the most important things in life.
We become attached to our thoughts, and many times we fail to examine them. Is this true? Does thinking this help me to face the day? Does it make me more resilient, or less so? Start looking to reframe your thoughts, and challenge the meaning you give to the events that occur throughout your day.
Compassion
Cultivating compassion means understanding and wishing to alleviate the suffering of others. It’s a non-judgmental approach to life’s disappointments. And when things go poorly, it means not taking offense, seeking understanding, and if necessary, forgiveness.
By adding compassion to your daily practices, you become more peaceful and less angry, more patient and less stressed, more forgiving and less defensive. And all of these things contribute to building resilience.
Optimism
Optimism is the ability to maintain a positive attitude in the face of adversity and to remain hopeful despite setbacks. However, it is not simply believing that everything will turn out for the best no matter what. That is magical thinking.
Psychologist Martin Seligman says there are 3 major attitudes that distinguish the optimist from the pessimist. The first is they tend to view adversity as temporary events. The bad times won’t last forever. It’s a momentary setback.
Second, they see the misfortune as pertaining to a specific situation. It’s not “more of the same” doom and gloom that pervades their life. And third, they don’t tend to shoulder all the blame for the event. They look for causes, including external causes and they take those into consideration.
Having a sense of optimism makes you more likely to forge ahead in the face of challenges and to keep going when things get difficult.
Work on these areas and see how much more resilient you can become. Building resilience will not make you impervious to challenges, but it will provide you with enough armor to withstand challenges and to feel calmer, stronger, and more confident in your ability to weather the storm.
Learn about building resilience at NCET’s Biz Cafe Online on December 16. NCET is a member-supported nonprofit organization that produces educational and networking events to help people explore business and technology. More info at www.NCETcafe.org
Kevin Ciccotti is President of Human Factor Formula, Inc. (www.humanfactorformula.com) and works with organizations to help build more resilient, resourceful leaders.
NCET is Northern Nevada’s largest member-supported non-profit that produces educational and networking events to help people explore businesses and technology. (www.NCET.org)