NCET helps you explores business and technology
By Steven Ing
It seems not a day goes by when we don’t hear some horrible example of our work lives and our sex lives inappropriately intersecting.
But because I often like to look at the flip side of things — especially given my 25-plus- year career as a marriage and family therapist, during which time I often hear two sides of stories — I sometimes consider the alternate perspective: What can we learn about our professional lives from our sex lives? Or vice versa?
Without the inappropriate intersection, of course.
Turns out, there are quite a few lessons to be learned there. And one of the primary overlaps pertains to what I call the “intentional interview,” a dating behavior that serves as a good model if you’re considering a job/career change.
Nothing says “sexy” like an interview, right? Let me explain.
Consider what we do when we go on a date. Most of us become wannabe private investigators before we even agree to a date. We research. We scour social media, we ask friends for input, and we go on dates armed
with loads of questions.
If we don’t feel like we know enough by the time the date is over, we go on second, third, fourth and so on dates until we know “enough” to take the relationship to the next level.
So take a page from dating and the intentional interview. If you’re considering a career/job change, consider the following:
1. Do your own independent discovery process. Just as you thoroughly research those you date, spend similar resources toward researching the company and the job. Crowdsource on social media channels for info about the company. Look at LinkedIn, their website, etc.
2. When you talk to someone about the company, ask open-ended questions, just like you would when you act interested in another party on a date. Employ words like “describe,” “tell me about” and “how.” And of course, ALWAYS come armed with questions to an interview. If you don’t have any, then I would argue you haven’t done your due diligence.
3. Try on a few jobs (via interviews) before “committing.” In other words, seek out the chance to play the field with interviews — a lot of interviews. Just as any reasonable person knows they usually must date many different people before finding “the one,” so you’ll need to try a few jobs on for size by exploring opportunities in interviews to see what turns you on. So to speak.
The bottom line: Just as we should intelligently (and proactively) manage our sexuality, we also should intelligently manage our careers. Ask questions, don’t assume the answers, and hold out for a great fit before settling down.
Learn more surprising career lessons like the intentional interview at NCET’s Biz Bite luncheon on Dec. 6. NCET is a member-supported nonprofit organization that produces educational and networking events to help people explore business and technology. Register for the event and get more info at NCETbite.org.
Steven Ing is a marriage and family therapist focused on teaching the intelligent management of sexuality.